Merry Christmas from Erin

I've been creating my own Christmas greetings as long as I can remember. In high school I used red and green crayon and went to Kinko's to make color copies I could hand out. It then transitioned into creating things on the computer which I emailed out. This year, I'm using my blog.

The medium for creation and distribution has changed. The message has not. Christmastime for me always is a time for heartfelt sentiments, to those I know and those I love.

This year I decided to use my favorite photos I've taken throughout the year... They pretty much speak for themselves.

And there is one more I have to add. The best part of a year ending is reflecting on what has occurred. Some years are certainly better than others. This was a rough one for me. But out of it came something remarkable. This spirited, light-hearted, positive thinking girl learned that it's okay not to be. I learned that being sad or angry or down is not only okay, it's good. I learned I don't need to snap out of it, but if I just let it be, those feelings go away on their own, and I feel better for having felt them. Hence this final photo, about celebrating those other feelings, because it's part of being REAL...

A very Merry Christmas to all. Wishing you the miracle of clear vision, acceptance, and peace... xoxoxoxo

Man With a Feather in His Cap

For years now, I've seen a man walking around town in a suit and wearing a feather in his cap. He is an older gentleman, who I believe lives in the Senior home next to my office building.

There has been some speculating between a co-worker and I about this finely dressed fellow. Is he a retired door to door salesman, still dressed to impress, carrying around the briefcase for old times sake? Was he a ladies man from Europe, wining and dining all the seniors at the senior center? I've wondered for years.

Then yesterday while stopped at a red light, a woman and her mother crossed the street in front of me, and the mother tripped over the curb, falling onto the sidewalk. I immediately began to roll down my window to ask if I could do something to help. But before I could even get a word out, the man with the feather in his cap came out of nowhere and swooped the woman back onto her feet in what felt like an instant.

Out of his pocket came a stethoscope. A stethoscope! With such care he nodded towards the daughter and then with both hands on the mothers arms, he smiled as if to say, all is well.

As quickly as he came, he left. Before my light had even turned green yet! As he passed in front of my car, he turned once to glance back, and continued on his way.

So - I still don't know his story. I laughed with my co-worker joking - maybe he's a pick-pocket! But really, maybe not. Now I have even more motivation then ever to stop next time I see him, and introduce myself. Perhaps he's one of those angels among us...

God-Given Grandfather

When we moved into our house last year, I believe God lovingly placed us there with his own hands.

We have been blessed with two very different, but amazing neighbors on either side of us. One of which turned out to be the kindest, most loving 82 year old man named Andy.

I was nervous when we moved in because let's face it, with four children, there is a lot of noise. Here are these two elderly neighbors who probably just want peace and quiet and to rest. Then you have my son who thought it was funny to repeatedly throw the ball over the fence into their yard. The kids would scream and yell when they played outside. Sometimes, they would even run out of our yard and into Andy's yard to say hello. I thought - these people are going to hate us! But wow was I wrong. And pleasantly surprised.

The first time they ran in his garage, I was so embarrassed. I apologized as I tried to go insist they get out immediately, and tell them how inappropriate that was. My first clue that this man was a saint was when he waved his hand and said, "Oh they're fine, don't worry about them!" He went on to tell me he and his wife sometimes babysit the little girl who lives on the other side of their house, and that I could go home and my kids could stay and play a while. My first instinct was to say, "God no! Do you know what they will do to your  house?!" But again he waved his hand and shooed me away.

Before long, the kids would come home from Andy's with treats. Ice pops and ice cream. Cookies and crackers. And the great thing about being in your 80's, is you don't give a damn what time of day it is... Sometimes on the way to school at 8am, they would sneak over before I could stop them - and be riding to school with an ice cream cone.

One day when I was collecting my children from his house, I asked him about a beautiful rocking horse that was in his living room. "I made it", he said. "I make a lot of things. Here, come see", he told me as he led me into his spare room. What I saw brought tears to my eyes. Row after row after row of hand crafted, perfectly put together carved wooden trucks. Dump trucks, tow trucks, bulldozers, cement trucks, plow trucks - you name it, he had made it. With his own two hands... The tears in my eyes came from the notion of how much love and patience and time went into each and every tiny piece that all fit together to make these remarkable creations. I felt like he shared a piece of his soul with me, when he showed me those trucks. Because he put a piece of his soul into every one of them.

I don't know a whole lot about Andy. I do know he has a Scotch ("Sometimes a double. Sometimes a triple") every day at 4pm, and if he misses that time he skips it. I know he wakes at 4am every day and has three cups of coffee. I know I've never, ever seen him sitting down or relaxing. "If you sit down, you die!" he once told me. I know he calls his wife Toots. I know he is a man of routine. But he never minds for a second my children coming over and interrupting that routine. I know the Joy I see on his face is due to the simple process of giving and receiving. He makes my children so happy just by talking with them or giving them a little treat. Recently, he even took them to McDonald's. And it brings him so much happiness to do this. 

And finally, I know that Andy and Toots sold their house, and will be moving next month. I know we will miss them like we would family. I know I'll cry when they leave, and that my children probably will too. I know that Andy was a gift. A grandfather of sorts. That's what is has been, like a God-Given Grandfather.

Amazing Awesome Jean

At 95 years old, Jean Stott is deserving of the Amazing Awesome title in every way.

I've been blessed to know Jean over a decade now. She the grandmother of one of my dear friends. I have always enjoyed getting to see and spend any amount of time with Jean because her energy is contagious. And if you do the math, she was already in her 80's by the time I met her!

I recently visited Jean and got to talk with her about some of that magic she has that makes her so Amazing - not only to me, but surely to anyone she meets.

Because the fondest memory I have of Jean is her getting down on the dance floor with my husband at her granddaughters wedding, my first inquiries had to be about her love of dancing!

Jean has been Polka dancing since the age of 10. And she didn't stop until last year. That is an 84 year love affair with dance! Polka!! And it took her to so many exciting places. She told me some of her best times revolved around dancing. She and her sister would actually organize weekend trips to the Catskill Moutains - chartering the bus, gathering the attendees, booking the Polka bands, reserving rooms at the hotel - and best of all she would bring baked goods and coffee along for the bus ride. She said the bus driver became friendly with them, and would put on their Polka CD's, encouraging everyone to sing! It was an amazing group of people, she said. It was a group of people who wanted to have fun!
Well, I know about the trickle down effect, and that things start at the top, so if Jean was in charge you'd have to be a miserable loaf not to have the time of your life.

She has traveled all around the world, mostly in retirement. Hawaii, Alaska, Switzerland, Sweden, Germany, Paris, Norway, Hungary, Austria, Australia, Israel, Canada, and of course Poland. She would go dancing in all those places, she said. Her last visit to Poland was only 6 years ago - she traveled there with a Polka band! She knew them from all of her previous dancing and traveling days. Jean probably knows more people than I ever will, and if meeting members of the band is the goal, I'm sure she's never had any trouble. She danced every day she was there during that last visit to Poland, she told me, and always has danced every chance she's gotten to. It's what's kept her young. "I was always the last one left on the dance floor at the end of the night!" Jean said.
I believe it Jean...!

A perfect story which sums up all of what I know about this woman takes place at a dinner cruise, or trip she had taken. "There we were, all sitting around eating our food, listening to music. 'I came here to have fun!', I told the friend I was with. So I got up from my seat, and started a conga line. One at a time, people got up and followed. That's what you have to do sometimes, you have to start the fun. Otherwise, you're just a bunch of people sitting down eating your dinner."
I honestly think I could end this blog post right here after that statement, and you would already get the full effect of why I love this lady!!

A testament to her positive outlook, Jean shared with me a story of when she was in Israel. She had just boarded a sight-seeing boat on the Jordan River, on a beautiful sunny day. Yet just as they left shore, it began to rain. People got upset, she said, they were bothered about the weather, that it was ruining the trip. But she disagreed. "We are in Israel. This isn't rain. This is the Lord, He's baptizing us!" And Jean did actually get baptized when she was there. She loved being there, because it is sacred, she told me.
If she could turn bad weather into a Holy event that day, I do believe God was smiling.

Also since retirement, I've known Jean to take weekend bus trips to Atlantic City to gamble, folk dance with a group and actually get paid for it, and volunteer 3 days a week for just about 25 years at the Hospice gift shop. "I love people", she said to me, "and I think I've helped make a lot of people happy." She was mostly referring to her weekend trips to the Catskills, where they would "party all weekend", but I know the statement goes for just about anyone who's ever met her.

At one point in her earlier years, Jean was working 3 jobs. AT&T, Catering, and at a Polish Club. When I asked her what she did at the Polish Club, she answered, "Bar tending, naturally!" As if to say, what else would I be doing there?!

Oh, did I mention she has 3 tattoo's? That's not the best part. The best part is that all of them were done after the age of 90...!!!

Jean did stop dancing about a year ago. Her 95th birthday almost killed her, she said. She had pneumonia, and it knocked her hard. But then more came to light. She found out she had a brain tumor. "I didn't cry. I haven't cried about it since", she told me. "God has given me 95 good years. It is what it is and I can't change it. I'm happy just like it is, Erin, I am."

I asked Jean what gives her inspiration now. Now that she has had to stop dancing, which has brought her so much joy, and stop bowling, which she also loved. Even knitting is difficult for her because of arthritis. "You know what inspires me? That doctor. He removed 90% of the tumor in my brain. He said he wouldn't normally operate on someone my age, but for me he did - I had stamina, he said. And even when his job was done, and I was off to a new doctor for radiation, he said he still wanted to see me, and visit with me. You have to love that man. That a person could do that for me - that gives me inspiration."
What I thought to myself when she was telling me this was, No Jean - you are the one inspiring the doctor.

"And you know what has been the biggest blessing of all? My daughter. The way she cares for me... and my granddaughter. They have supported me and held me up so much. The biggest thing is that I don't like them to see me suffer." She went on to talk about her great grandson who brings her so much joy - the fourth generation.

What I think, and have always thought about Jean, is that any joy she receives is but a tenth of the joy she has spread, literally- all around the world.
God bless you Jean, and may we all have a time or two in our lives where we spice up a dull dinner party by starting a conga line.

You Are a Contribution - an interview with Sister Gloria

    

    Gloria never disappoints. I enjoy going to see her because I enjoy the feeling I always have when I leave. Sister Gloria of the Brahma Kumaris is my meditation instructor, and friend. Over the weekend, I was blessed with one on one time to sit and talk with her. 

    Dressed in her white robes, Gloria greeted me with a bright smile. She always has a glow about her. It's calming and uplifting at the same time. It's also contagious.

    Music began playing from another room, just as we sat down to talk. Perfect timing, she said. Gloria sets music to come on every few hours to remind her to stop what she's doing and sit in meditation for the length of the song. I put my things aside and joined her. With eyes open, as the Brahma Kumaris meditate, I focused my very favorite picture. Already, I was feeling at peace.

    What, I asked her, is missing most in the world today?

    Understanding the Self, she told me. We need more education about who we really are. We live in a world of labels - mother, brother, sales person, etc. But these are artificial. These are not the real Self. It is a big undertaking to understand the Self. We need to peel back the layers to get to the fruit.

    Then what is the real self?

    What you see is a package. YOU are not at all the package. The inner you is that gentle, unlimited, un-perishable, intangible, spiritual being. A jewel of light.

    When you are driving a car, do you ever believe you are the car? No! We are the DRIVER. That is the Soul, the Self. We are the driver of this vehicle the body. 

    To understand the Self better, Gloria further told me about the 3 Faculties of the Soul. The Mind, the Intellect, and the Sanskaras, or personality traits.

    Because the soul is not physical at all, it needs a tool to get attached to this world.

The Mind helps the soul to move about using the body. It works with the 5 senses - We see a flower, think about getting to the flower, send a message to the brain to go and smell the flower. The mind facilitates EXPERIENCE, which is the whole point of being in this world. We interact with the flower - know what the flower is. The 5 senses are the receivers that belong to the world. The mind keeps on thinking about how to use those 5 senses to bring

the experience to the soul. But the mind gets over-used. We experience the flower and instead of just enjoying it, we keep going. We wonder, what will happen if we tear the flower, throw the flower? We want to posses the flower because we have experienced so much good from it, we want more. (Ah, this is where addictions come into play isn't it? I asked her... Yes.)

    The Intellect is the wisdom keeper. It can keep the mind in check. It can say - The flower is beautiful. Go to it, and then leave it alone. But the soul can dismiss the intellect

because the soul can be misguided by the mind. Yet if the soul is aware of the intellect -it can choose who is in control. When the soul understands that the soul is in control, the soul can allow the intellect to give input. When the mind overdoes the flower, the intellect

can step in and say- Leave it as it is, it's a beautiful flower, leave it at that. The intellect has the wisdom to say no.

    The Sanskaras are the recording of what the mind and intellect have done. Go back to the flower. If you have stomped on the flower, the mind creates a recording and reflects in you something that is not so nice. Or suppose you are gentle with the flower, the sanskaras

show a reflection of a gentle, positive person. It keeps recording what you are doing in life and reflecting that back out to the world.

    

    How do we recognize and undo the damage of the negative recordings we have created? 

    The soul is energy. When you send energy out - it is a message, through energy. Other people receive that energy. It can be undone, but is not always easy.

    First, you create positive traits, positive habits. Meditating helps us begin. It is through meditation that you begin to recognize the differences between the positive qualities vs negative ones, and how to gravitate towards positive qualities and virtues. Then you can begin to recognize and create new personality traits so you don't have to go back and use the old ones.

    What keeps you on this path, Gloria?

    There IS NO OTHER path. This is the breath of life for me. I began to receive so much positive energy - it makes me happy! I am more humane, I have more energy. If a car doesn't have gas, it can't run. This gives me fuel! If I don't have this, I have no gas for the car! If you are next to the pond where you can drink water, why would you move away to the desert?? This is my fuel of life. This has helped me understand who I am, change my ways, understand what people really are.

    Even health problems. This has helped me so much to create a healthy life. This meditation creates an impact on the healthy cells. They naturally reject the illnesses.

Because this is the natural way of being. Life naturally has to be good. But it is human beings that bring in the artificial ways of being which create an unhealthy life. The meditation restores all that has gone wrong. Raja Yoga Meditation. Instead of your mind running the soul - your soul runs the show. 

    A lot of us try this path, but we fall off. How do we get on, and stay on this path?

    Well how many times do you eat/feed your body during the day? 2-3 times? Plus snacks? How often do you recharge your cell phone?

    Your Soul is your battery. How can we never refuel it? Never recharge it at all? We MUST feed and recharge the soul for it to work! Meditation recharges. Every day life is so highly demanding that it drives people crazy, gives nervous breakdowns - it is draining! We must recharge.

    In all the time I've known you Gloria, there is one thing that has stuck out in my mind above all the rest. You told me that I myself am a contribution...

    If you yourself are fully charged, your battery is charged - then whatever you do, wherever you go, you are sharing that energy. It's like a rose - can you stop the fragrance of the rose? No - it gives. Even if you can't do any extra service or giving, if you are charged, your soul is giving off energy that flows to others. Energy has no boundaries. Wherever you go - you are giving that. It is okay to give in just that way. If one person feels good - it is good for many.

The Brahma Kumaris offer meditation classes in over 10,000 centers around the world. These are offered free, or by donation, with the philosophy that by nurturing the well-being of the entire human family through promoting spiritual understanding and leadership with integrity, it leads to elevated actions towards a better world.

To learn more about the Brahma Kumaris and Raja Yoga meditation, visit http://www.brahmakumaris.org/ 

Taking the Extra Step

The promised interview with my beloved meditation instructor is on it's way! In the meantime, something came up with my oldest daughter today...

She asked me if there was ever a time in my life when I didn't have friends. I responded honestly, that I always had friends, but I do recall a number of times in my life without any truly good friends - the ones I had were more to just have someone to hang out with, rather than be bored.

She told me she felt like that right now. And if I know her, she will be the same as me - easily able to make friends, she'll never be alone, but that doesn't guarantee strong friendships at all times.

She said a few of her current "friends" say negative things, and even if they are joking, it doesn't feel good. This is what I told her:

That sometimes you have to be your own friend first. Sometimes it's really hard to walk away from someone because of that fear and discomfort of being alone. Yet when we respect ourselves enough to walk away from the negative, that itself is canceling out a negative situation with a positive action. And with that comes more positivity, even though we might have to wait for it a little while. You may have to play alone at recess a few times, or sometimes even longer. But the courage to do that in order to keep the respect for yourself is well worth it - with the benefits including stopping a pattern of accepting bad treatment in your life before it gets started. 

And secondly, that she really had three options. She could continue hanging out with that person and bickering back and forth and feeling yucky about it; she could choose to stop hanging out with that person; OR she could choose to stop hanging out with that person AND tell them why.

She said she didn't want to explain herself, and I said that's completely fine! It really is. It is taking a step up from being down. However, when you choose the third option, it's like taking two steps up instead of just one. When you explain to someone why you're walking away, you are giving them an opportunity to change. You are opening a door. You are now doing the right thing for TWO people. And you literally double your blessings/ good karma/ goodwill that will come back to you down the road. You are still doing the right thing to simply walk away, and yet you can do even more by walking away and giving the other person an idea of why.

We also discussed that a lot of kids don't change - and my precious, insightful 9 year old said sometimes it's because they just don't know any better, or any other way to be. 

But each time we stand up for ourselves, we take away the power any negative people or words have over us. And when we give someone that open door to see what their actions are doing, we give them the power to make a change.

Out of Nothing, And No Way, A Way is Made

Michael Beckwith says this quite a bit when he preaches. It's really stuck with me, but only in desperate times. 

Today wasn't so desperate, but I got to feel the depth of this statement - Out of nothing, and no way, a way will be made.

So I noticed this crack in my windshield yesterday in the midst of driving all over town in holiday shopping traffic - I think to myself, That sucks, and promptly forget all about it.

And today. Today I was given a precious gift of $200. I was so happy! I thought of the boots I need, the haircut I could get, how I could surprise my husband with something, Chinese food for NYE, etc... After telling myself I wasn't going to use this gift to pay bills, I was going to use it as a gift for myself - these are the things that came to mind. We are truly a paycheck to paycheck family, and $200 extra dollars is a real blessing.

Then I get in my car to run an errand, and there it is, like a cold, hard slap in the face - the windshield crack. Except it had grown. No longer forgettable, this thing was now over a foot long. I sighed. I knew right then what I needed to do, and I knew right then how much it would cost. I needed to call my insurance company and have the windshield replaced, and my deductible is exactly $200.

Did I have my moment of thinking WTF?? Oh yea I did. Then I had the moment of forcing myself to get over it - like not naturally getting over it, but nudging myself, thinking "Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude Erin!! Be grateful you had the money!" When really inside I'm whining "But it's not fair!!"

The difference is, this all lasted minutes - not hours or even days like something of this nature used to.

A friend of mine recalled to me in the midst of this that when she used to be tight on money, and had a struggle, something always worked out so she could afford it. This my friends, is Right Thinking. What we are accustomed to is Backwards Thinking - "Damnit, I had money and now I have to use it for a repair! This sucks, poor me!" But that's backwards, it's literally flipped the wrong way, and in so doing completely changes the tone, feeling and attitude. 

Just flip the two events in the opposite order - "I needed a repair, and then I got the money to fix it!" This is so simple it's almost stupid. But do you see how the entire tone changes? It changes so that, in fact, it leaves no room for poor me or bitter feelings, yet brings about an atmosphere for gratitude. 

There are just two sides to every coin, and we are the ones who can flip it. I flipped my situation into one that felt grateful, and this brings about joy, which in turn leads to more things to be thankful for.

Look at that. I was going to need help with that windshield. And out of nothing, and no way, a way was made.

Amen.